Barbara (onwingsofeagles) wrote,
Barbara
onwingsofeagles

the way of tears

I've been reading a book on tears and spiritualitly (The Fountain and the Furnace:The way of tears and fire, by Maggie Ross). Well, "read" is probably too strong a word. It looks like a book I could really enjoy if I had the psychic energy. But I do love the idea of tears being an expression of faith, a way of embodying God, something like that.
Mostly I think of the scripture about how the spirit prayers when our words are inadequate for prayers.
And I always counsel people that "God is in your tears." 
Recenly I needed to cry and I curled up with Neville (my blue stuffed hippo) and envisioned Jesus standing there, receptive, and my saying, "Can I just cry on your shoulder for awhile?" 
I don't do a lot of visualization these days, tho I do believe God is ever-present. I think I just needed the humanity of Jesus.
It struck me that these many weeks I've found it hard to pray, in part because prayer leads to tears, and that I am rather living that belief -- that God is in my tears; that my tears themselves are prayers too deep for idle words.
Perhaps if I can frame my tears not as "breaking" but as "healing" I will survive this journal a little more gently.
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